Esther Ezeh's Thoughts

*ONE THING MY MOTHER NEVER TOLD ME* 😭😭😭😭
( Episode 4 )

This "I love you so much" words from Abi was so magical, it engulfed me totally, broke down my guards and erupted my deepest emotions.

Before I knew what was happening to me I saw myself sobbing helplessly, I tried to stop it but I couldn't rather it became more profuse.

Abi seeing this got up from his knees where he was saying these things, sat up close to me and placed my head on his shoulders; after which he began to pat my back.

Abi: " I am sorry my queen, I did not intend hurting you; please stop crying for am moved to cry too.

Still trying all measures to stop me from sobbing as I could not help myself.

Abi kissed my fore head repeatedly then I saw myself begin to calm down; he continued going further to caress me all over.

I do not know why I could not say no at this point for I really wanted Abi but little did I know what it would cost me.

That was how it happened between Abi and I, he exposed me sexually.

Getting up from the little nap I have had in the course of what transpired between us; I felt guilty for allowing Abi have me and I blamed Abi for having taken advantage of poor and helpless me as I have been love starved by my parents.

I decided to start avoiding Abi, little did I know that it was not going to be easy.
I never wanted to talk to him about what happened between us as mum was not aware.

Days passed and weeks, then I noticed I had become so aggressive at anything and anyone especially at school.

One day my class teacher called me and cautioned me about my recent attitude; she went ahead to ask if I had any emotional problem at home, I replied no.

Not until I got home that day before I became aware of the fact that I truely had an emotional problem which was Abi.

I can no longer deny the reality that I really missed him. I long for him, I want him, his touch, affirmations and appreciation.

I needed to feel and feed on them.

As I thought about him I could not sleep that night.

I got up from my bed at 1:30am when mum must have fallen deeply asleep, sneaked out and tiptoed to Abiodun's quarter.

The moment I whispered by his window calling his name Abi! He quickly got up and opened the door for me to come in, as if he was already told I would come and was awaiting my arrival.

The way he hugged me, held me, kissed me, I just knew he had missed me so much too.

And it happened again for the second time between us.
The sound of the cock's crow woke us both at 5:00am prompt.

I hurriedly put on my clothes and left straight to my room before mum finds out or looks out for me.

At this juncture every atom of guilt had left me and I began to meet Abi almost every night.

The things Abi did with my body are things am so ashamed to speak of.

Daddy returned after been away for three (3) months he would be spending two (2) weeks with us before leaving again.

We had dinner together with mum, he asked me a few questions about the home, my academics, church and general wellbeing.

I just told him everything was fine only that we want him to spend more time with us at home.

This I said just to please him not necessarily because it was from my heart for I already had Abiodun my bestie and lover.

Watch out for episode 5
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Coming Soon..

*MARRIED BUT SEARCHING*

Why the search?
What is the cause for the search?
What are they actually searching for?
It's going to be in episodes.
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*ONE THING MY MOTHER NEVER TOLD ME* 😭😭😭😭
(Episode 3)

I finally woke up and ran to check if mum was still at home. " Well thanks to God she wasn't" I thought to myself.

So I went straight to Abiodun's quarter ( the gate keeper) to spend some time with him.

Seeing me he quickly stood up and offered me a seat as if he had seen a goddess.

Abi: " Haba! My queen, you are welcome to my abode. What do I offer you now?
But my queen your face look pale, I hope there is no problem.

Your mother just left about 30minutes ago. I was about coming to check on you as soon as I finish eating" Abi said.

Me: I really don't know Abi; I feel feverish and cold at the same time, I am so tired right now.

Abi: " My queen no no no no! Please if you do not mind let me take you to a pharmacist right away. I can not allow you fall sick, let's go" he continued.

He took me to a drug store; there the pharmacist checked me and asked few questions after which he brought out some drugs for me.

Abi quickly paid and took me back home.
Some hours later I felt someone tapping me to wake up.
It was Abi, he was actually saying " wake up your mum is back, go inside the house before she starts looking for you"

This was when I realised that I had slept off on Abi's bed after taking the drugs.
I quickly rushed home through the back door at the kitchen and pretend I was preparing noodles while mum changed her clothes in her room.

The preacher spoke expressly on the love of Christ but right there where I was seated close to mum on this faithful Sunday morning in Church, I could not stop reminiscing on the affection, care and loving affirmations I often received from Abi my bestie.

Not until I heard mum call my name and tap me before I realised the benediction had been said and it was time to go home.
I was so lost in my thought.

As we drove home mum inquired the reason for my absent mindedness in church previously.

I smartly told her I was really scared of my upcoming mock exams and Junior Waec exams at school.
How I have heard so many people fail it and have to repeat the exams.
I really don't want to partake in such failure, so it's giving me serious concern and thoughts.

Mum giggled and said " Mimi you will not kill me with this your childish talks and thoughts. Any way, if it's really challenging to you I will get a tutor to put you through so you make all your papers, will that be ok?"

Me: sure mummy! I yelled feeling excited.

I would not stop staring at Abiodun as he opened the gate for us when we got home.

Coming back from school the next day I stopped by Abi's quarter so famished. There he took care of me, fed me and I rested for a while.

On my way to my room I was surprised to see him follow me, I could feel within me that he wanted to spill out something.
So I asked him to sit in my room, on my bed, close to me.

You can go ahead and spill it out, that which seems to border you. I perceive you want to say something.

Abi: Yes my queen, just that I do not know how to say it or where to start from.
It is becoming a serious issue of concern to me that I can no longer sleep without thinking of you; I always want to have you close to me.
The joy I experience each moment I spend with you can not be bought, I totally forget my pains, sorrow and sufferings when an with you.
I see you in my dreams.
My queen the absolute truth is that I so much love you, I love you and I mean it.

Me: At this point I was really overwhelmed by the pe*******on of these words into my core being.

" Could this be me he is actually talking to" I thought to myself.

I have never felt so loved, appreciated and important before, neither have I heard such from anyone except from Sabinta's mother; she often told Sabinta my classmate how much she loves her little princess each time we got her house from school.

I have never heard such a thing from my own mother, all I get is her scoldings and insultive words showered on me especially when I make a mistake.

This had made me detest her for a long time now. I was living with my mother in the same house but in my heart she is so far away from me.
Only Abiodun ( the gate keeper) seem to be so close to my heart not even my dad as he was always not at home.

Watch out for episode 4
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HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL THE RESPONSIBLE, LOVING AND SACRIFICIAL FATHER'S OUT THERE.
MAY YOU CONTINUALLY ENJOY A BLISSFUL HOME..

Qualities Of A Good Father

1. He is protective:
A good dad protects his kids by drawing clear boundaries, considers their best interests, talks to them about things they should be aware of and puts things in place. He teaches his kids about consequences of making the wrong choices. Fathers instill character development in kids

2. Affection is his middle name:
A good father is affectionate to his children. Though he may not hug and kiss the child like a mother does, his affection is no less than a mother’s. He lets the children know they can count on him.

3. A wall of trust and security:
The children believe that their father is always right. He will never lie to them, he will never betray them, he will never leave them in the lurch. That is the trust a good father builds in a child. The kids know that their father is always there whenever they want some help or whenever they are in trouble.

4. The source of encouragement:
You are the source of encouragement to your kid. Be it a football match or a debate competition, your presence at the venue gives a boost to your child’s confidence. You are the happiest when they succeed and you are the one who will make them strive better if they fail. Your words will make a world of difference to your child. Your words have the power to make or break them.

5. Has the patience to listen:
A good father takes out time to listen to their children. He gives his kids undivided attention and tries to understand things from their perspective.

6. Provides the necessities of life:
As the head of the family, the father is responsible for giving a decent living for his children, be it a home, food, education or love, security, and attention.

7. Respects the mother of his children:
Children do well when they see their parents working together. A good father teaches his children how to respect their mother, and this he does by respecting his partner. He honors her views and does not argue with her in front of the kids. This sends the right message to the children that their parents work together, and they need to respect them both equally.

8. Spending time with him is fun for kids:
If the dad is at home, it is a fun time for kids. He plays with them, shares some tricks and shortcuts, makes their artwork easy, and their homework enjoyable. He involves them in things he likes to do. Television, laptops, and phones are put aside.

9. He is the best teacher:
A father teaches lessons not just for academics but about life. He shows how children can channelize their emotions when met with failure or disappointment, how they can use their energy for their good, how they can plan their careers or study hours.

*E2E.. Empowered To Empower Initiative*

Women are the greatest gift to the universe.
It is not only because they play a major role in procreation, but also the fact that in them you find the potential to nurture, to cater, to educate - especially the young ones, to unite - as seen in the family, to increase or multiply that which is given to them.

The desire to see that things are well in their homes and families is inspiring.

Women, notably mothers, play the largest role in decision - making about family meal planning and diet.

A healthy nation is one full of empowered women who have become notable icons, so much worthy of emulation, as they have made their homes, family and society a better place using their potentials.

But a hungry and sick nation on the other hand is one lacking much of empowered women, who would feed the hungry, take care of the sick and elderly, unite their homes and families, including educating the young ones.

This is why our women should be Empowered.

International studies have shown that when the economy and political organization of a society change, women take the lead in helping the family adjust to new realities and challenges.

Rural women play a key role in supporting their households and communities in achieving food sufficiency, generating Income, improving rural livelihood and overall well being.

The reason we have hungry children, sickly looking children, homeless kids, rising cases of child abuse, theft, maltreated women, domestic violence and many more, especially in African countries, is because we so much lack empowered women.

For every woman knows what is best for her child and home.

To this cause, we the Empowered to Empower (E2E) Initiative, an altruistic NGO, avail ourselves to be the channel through which the less privileged women and girls in their various localities are empowered so they can fulfill their obligations.

We also call on well meaning individuals and corporate entities who believe in empowering the less privileged women and girls to partner with us and achieve this goal.

The empowerment of our women and girls, especially In this part of Africa, should not be left to the government, else their suffering, struggles, health issues, abuses and other ills will continually accelerate.

Dedicated to all staff, sponsors and entire members of the E2E Initiative ( Empowered To Empower Initiative).

Thank you
By
Esther Ezeh

*ONE THING MY MOTHER NEVER TOLD ME*. EPISODE 2
😭😭😭😭

Mummy: Efulefu! ( Worthless or lost one)
"How come it took you so long to open the gate for me" mum yelled at Abiodun.

Abiodun: "Abeg, sorry madam, I go carry my cloth from backyard, no vex ma" Abiodun pleaded on bended knees.

Mummy: "mmmmtttteeeewwww ( mum sighed)
Common bring those things I bought from the car boot into the kitchen"

Abiodun: " Okay madam" he replied.

Having run into my room from the balcony because of mum's arrival, I watched the scene from my room window and felt sorry for poor Abiodun.

Nkechi, the house maid, was not at home; she took permission from mum being the first daughter of her family to go visit and take care of her very sick mum in the village and would not be back too soon.

So mum had to do the cooking for the main time awaiting her arrival, while myself with the help of Abiodun do the house chores when mum is not at home.

Days passed, weeks passed and I became fond of Abiodun.

He gave me all the attention I ever needed; he was all over me; he literally worships me.
He often treats me like a queen. Every affection I ever longed for which I lacked in my family especially from my mum was provided by Abi ( as I nicknamed him) our gate keeper.

For everything that made me jealous of Sabinta my classmate, I mean her relationship with her mum and family, Abi gave me more.

Soon I began to forget that I had a mother, as her vacuum in me had been occupied by Abiodun.

He no longer seem to be a gate keeper to me; he became a trusted friend, a beloved one, my bosom friend, a succour.

I would always tell him anything that gives me concern and he would respond positively.

He would even come to my school to defend me like an elder brother anytime trouble comes.

I was surprised the first time I heard him speak correct English outside the home.

He later told me he was a high school drop out, as there was no fund or help to complete his education, having come from a penniless background. He looked for any available job which could cover his expenses all his life, even in adulthood.

My affection for Abi grew boundlessly; I began to loose my guard for him. He was the only person in my world.

I was doing house chores one very good day, then he came around to help out as usual since mum was not around.

As he swept the floor, I mopped. It was on a Saturday, so I decided to ask him this big question which has so much bordered my heart.

Me: "Abi ( as I always call him), why do you do all this things for me?"
Abi: "how do you mean my queen?"
Me: "all these things you do for me and all the treatment" I said.

Abi: he paused, took some steps closer to me, had a deep breath and spoke softly as if from the core of his heart.

I don't know how it would sound to you, I don't know if you would believe me, I don't even know how you would feel about it, neither do I know what you would think of me if I ever tell you.

Me: " don't worry about anything right now, just tell me the truth Abi" I said, with curiosity written all over me and opened eyes showing serious concern.

Abi: he took a deep breath again, lifted up his gaze and focused it on my eyes.

Well, if I don't say it now, I guess there may not be another time for it.
You see my queen, I.. I..
He was still shuttering when we heard mum's car horn sounding so loud at the gate.

My Abi fled to open the gate through the back door at the kitchen.

I felt so dissapointed, it was as if my whole world had crumbled. In anger, I dropped everything I used for cleaning, went into my room and layed.

Mum rushed in, I could hear her searching for something all over the room.
Mirabel! Mirabel! Mum called.

My baby gir..l! Where are you?
At this point I wondered if that was actually my mum calling.

Mum: "sweetie! Can you please come?"

I jumped down from my bed this time and ran to her room.

Me: "yes mummy!"
Mum: " Mimi, did you see the proposal letters I kept by my bed side? That is why I came back, I was actually supposed to submit it today."

Me: "no mum, I did not see any such thing."

Mum: " oh my God! How can I start writing all over, with all the research I had already made. This is so weird.

I turned back, shot the door behind me and went to my room, waiting for mum to leave so Abiodun can come finish his speech.

After waiting so long for mum to leave the house, I finally slept off for she was actually re- writing her proposals.

Watch out for episode 3

By
Esther Ezeh

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*R**E*- A SOUL MURDERER.

Wicked one, killer, stigmatizer and many more are the names you call me.

You forget that I am a person on a mission just like my fellow colleagues: fear, theft betrayal, seduction, lies, bribery, corruption, anger, covetousness and many of its like.

Yes, I came as a servant from the underworld and seek human host to achieve my purpose.

My purpose is to frustrate my victims and in a worse case, waste them.

I was commissioned with a mandate for this.

Through my traumatic experience on my victims, I am able to capture the minds of many, influence it and gain access to their future.

I have imprisoned my victims in their mind, especially, with the thought of stigmatization.

Once I am able to capture the mind of my victim, I am in total control and will birth forth hopelessness, aggression, self- pity, regrets, frustration in such person.

This is another strategy my master uses to pull souls towards him.

I will go ahead and reveal more secrets:

What or who else will seek the bitterness, hurt, pain and frustration of a soul, if not the son of perdition which you already know (Satan), in a bid to pull people towards him.

To you my host, who has voluntarily given me your body, will and emotions to manipulate and utilize, even to the extent of hurting the innocent,
I want you to know that you are a co- labourer in this kingdom of the underworld.

Our slaves ( Hosts) never find peace in life. Nothing good ever comes or happens to them.

Their suffering on earth is worse; their lives are full of curses. They finally become more frustrated and perish as a result.

After your demise from mother earth, a greater suffering awaits you for eternity, right here in the under world where you belong.

For I was supposed to be a kind of punishment only to the wicked but you went ahead and include these innocent ones because they were vulnerable.

Shame on you!

You can't escape the doom that awaits you except you choose to turn from this evil act, unto the father of light ( Ur Maker), confess your sins, plead for His forgiveness, while you hand your life over to Him, to take charge of your actions, after which you choose to make your enviroment and society a better and safe place to live in.

Shun evil!

This is the only escape route, else great doom!

It is not about government policy, else, they would have stopped me long time ago.

Also it is not all about adhering to all the safety measures as you can see today - it is just one person who can obstruct my mission.

While I go about, seeking whom to devour, there are a set of people I can't harm, despite how hard I may try. I would always see this inscription;

" Touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm" - I know they are children of the light, who know what is written about their safety and stand by it.

I tried to pounce on a young lady some time ago by the road side, as I layed in ambush awaiting her approach. Suddenly, I heard a voice saying this same thing, then I saw the inscription on her and also saw the protective fire of Yaweh on her - I fled!

I saw that she knows so well the written word, " No evil will come near me, no disaster shall come near my dwelling"

Since the words of Yahweh is ominipotent, I suggest all humans run to him and take cover, but for me am on a mission on earth.

To those who may have been affected:

I am sorry if I hurt you,
I am sorry if I caused you pain,
I am sorry if I am responsible for what is happening to you right now,
And I am very sorry if my actions brought you a child, but I must tell you - that child is a special one; for God is the giver and maker of children.

Do not let your passed experience affect your present and future.

Take me out of your mind please.

I will continue to cause you pain, if you leave me in your mind.

I will advise you take succour from the word of God.

He alone can make you whole and new again, if you so desire.

Be happy with your self, for no matter what happened in the past, He ( God) still very much loves you.

A little piece dedicated to the hosts and victims of ...

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By
Esther Ezeh

*ONE THING MY MOTHER NEVER TOLD ME*😭😭😭
(Episode 1)

Could life be any worse than it already is for me right now?
I feel so worthless as a result of my filthiness and usage, leaving me dejected and frustrated.

Infact, all these things I have seen and experienced has made my life totally miserable.

Oh! No! If only my mother had told me when she should, if only I had a better mother. How I so much wish I had a mother or family like my friend sabinta in school.
Oh! What a life of misery for me.

Mr and Mrs Jobina my parents have just two children of which I am the first.

Mr Jobina is a typical business man, he seldom stays at home. Most times, he is on a business trip and would stay outside home for one month or more, coming back home only to prepare for another trip.

My mum on the other hand is a career woman, always writing for promotions at her work place.
She would often go for advance studies, meeting people of high social strata, frequently texting and replying messages in her phone and rarely having time to look at my face.

She has left everything about my care to Nkechi the house maid.

The only time I get her attention is when she comes to call me for church Services, especially Tuesday bible study and Sunday church service.

She is well known and respected in church because of her immense financial contribution.
Within me, I felt so empty as I lacked connection with the one who is supposed to be the closest person to me - My mum.

Nkechi was really doing her best to care for and attend to my needs. She would even want to talk to me on certain things, but I would just shun her.

" Not you but my mum is all I want," I whispered to myself.

Right there in my room, I would flashback and remember the cordial relationship between sabinta and her family especially with her mum.

I began to get badly jeloused of her for this.
While am alone, I would always remember the affirmative words often told her by her mother echoing in my head.

"Sweetie, you know how much I love you, you are my queen, my baby girl, am so proud of the woman you would become soon."
I could feel the bond between them.

This made me hate my mother the more.
Infact, she disgust me. All these began to affect me emotionally and academically. Most nights I would cry out my eyes on my pillow just seeking for fellowship with my mum.

One very good day, I was sitted at our backony, placing my palm on my jaw as if to go through so many thoughts in my head.

Abiodun, the gate keeper passed by to pick up his washed clothes which were now dry.
He walked pass me, turned again towards me in astonishment as he judged my countenance.

Abiodun: " haba! Baby girl! Na we tin happen nah? Did somebody die? Abeg no vex say I dey ask you oh, but you too beautiful to sidon dey look like this nah, abi I offend you? He said.

"See ehh! I no like we tin you dey do oh, you just dey break my soft heart. How fine girl like you go dey worry yourself when I dey here." He continued.

He was still talking when we heard mummy sounding her car horn angrily.
Abiodun: "ehh! madam don come, abeg make I go open gate."

I mused over everything he said, felt relieved and smiled to my self feeling a bit encouraged and happy at least...

Watch out for episode 2.

COMING SOON...

"ONE THING MY MOTHER NEVER TOLD ME."😭😭😭

COMING SOON...

"ONE THING MY MOTHER NEVER TOLD ME."😭😭😭