The Official Monster Raving Loony Party

All On The Same Page

The Labour Party having forced Keir Starner to resign as they weren’t confident in his leadership, and policies, have advocated Andy Burnham for their next Prime Minister, so he would have all the Labour M.P,s support to take this country forward with Labour policies.
Having stood for the Makerfield by election and won, (leaving Manchester having to elect a new Mayor) some members of the Labour party who should have elected him unopposed are now having second thoughts and are saying he will still have to have a leadership contest (even though he will win) just to show everyone how democratic the Labour Party is. This means we will not have a fully committed Prime Minister until around Sept..
So one wonders that if he already has opposition just to get the leadership, how long it will be before he loses the confidence of his M.P,s and has to resign..
In the present political climate everyone seems to think that big problems (economy, foreign affairs, defence, etc) can be fixed in a few days..
No one seems to have told these M.P,s or Andy Burnham ,that when he becomes Prime minister he will have the same problems as Keir Starmer did.

Rumour has it that The Labour Party may seek advise from the FA (Football Association) regarding changing managers after every couple of losing Games.

r.u.seerius
Please note the opinions above are not necessarily loony party policy and should be taken with a pinch of salt (twice daily)

Please Share....We are pleased to announce our
Manicfesto for Makerfield Bye Bye Election 2026

We will stand for this election on the basis that its nothing to do with the local constituents and merely a Career move for our Leader.

Bickershaw waste site will be moved next to the Houses of Parliament. See how they like it next to their facilities.

We will start planning for Roads, Houses ,Schools, Employment etc, now for 2106 as it takes around 80 years to be implemented. (re Wigan-Bolton A5225 bypass)

Along with the existing Government policy for levelling up the North with the South, we will provide free Spirit Levels to all.

To help with the Cost of Living..We will get rid of VAT as it adds no value.

To help with the Cost of Living and to raise money for the Treasury we will Convert Numbers 10 and 11 Downing Street into a Hair salon, Which we will call ‘Government CutZ’

We will replace employees of the Border Force with GP receptionists. This will dramatically reduce the number of people getting in.

The MOT is an annual test to ensure that your car is roadworthy. We will introduce a ROT, an annual test to make sure all roads are car worthy.

In an effort to reduce the problems faced by the NHS , it is proposed to reduce pregnancy from nine to seven months ?

We will reduce hospital waiting lists by using a smaller font.

To make things fairer we will introduce a Court of Human Lefts.

Once in Government, we will replace the Foreign Secretary with a British one!

Published by Mr R.U.Seerius for Alan Howlin Laud Hope on behalf of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. 59 Newbarn Close..Fleet. Hants GU51 5HU

Alan "Howlin " Laud Hope, has made a plea to the other Parties standing at the Makerfield By-election later this month "Not too split the vote". It was reported widely today..(well...Private Eye)
see below

Rachel Reeves “Summer Giveaway”
We applaud the Governments efforts to help Hard working parents during the School holidays, with free bus rides and cheap chocolate biscuits..They can send their kids off for the day, with the knowledge that they’ll be safe, fed and the Bus Driver will keep them in check…
Well that’s the childcare sorted.

r.u.seerius
Please note the opinions above are not necessarily loony party policy and should be taken with a pinch of salt (twice daily)

A Self Inflicted Dilemma

Electoral rules say that Andy (SMILE -Still a Mayor If i Lose Election ) Burnham doesn’t have to resign as Mayor until he takes up his seat as an M.P So he’s in a win win situation as he can’t lose.
Kier Starmer has a dilemma.. He theoretically has to support Burnham as he’s the Labour candidate, so when the Leadership contest is announced will be fighting the person he has to endorse. His other choice is to not visibly support his Labour candidate, thereby allowing a possible Reform win. Removing his rival (Burnham) but losing another seat..
And they call us loony…..

r.u.seerius
Please note the opinions above are not necessarily loony party policy and should be taken with a pinch of salt (twice daily)

Game of Thrones...

Lets get this right..A perfectly good hard working an loyal M.P is standing down to make way for Andy Burnham, the mayor of Manchester who is resigning , causing a by-election and a mayoral election (cost £6-7 mil of taxpayers money), in the hope that he will win in order to be able to stand as a candidate in a leadership campaign against Keir Starmer?

And they have the cheek to call us loony?
r.u.seerius

We can confirm that our glorious leader Alan "Howlin" Laud Hope with selected agents will be standing against Andy Burnham in the forthcoming election in Makerfield. We can also confirm that there is no intention to launch a leadership bid to replace our leader. We can also confirm that we will be making every effort to win this seat and will be throwing everything at it. This election has come about so that Andy Burham will be eligible to mount a leadership bid against Sir Keir Starmer. However with the help of the voters in Makerfield we can cause a major upset in Labour rebels plans.
Lets be honest here, this election has nothing to do with the aspirations of the Voters, they are being used as a pawn to change the Labour leadership , not to raise issues of importance to the constituents of Makerfield.
Josh Simmons said in his election speech " I will be your MP, your voice, and your advocate. My door will always be open. Tonight is the beginning of a mission".
He didn,t say "except if someone else comes along who needs my seat"
Not to mention the people of Manchester who now will need a new mayor, (Cost £6-7 mil of the taxpayers money ) so this exercise in "Game of Thrones" will cost the people of Manchester and Makerfield a lot of upset..watch this space!!

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r.u

These are the loony party candidates for May